Friday, May 28, 2010

Rural singles revealed

National Fieldays are delighted to announce the finalists for the Rural Bachelor of the Year and the Rural Good Keen Girl competitions. Finalists come from all over New Zealand to compete at the New Zealand National Agricultural Fieldays, 16-19 June, held at Mystery Creek Events Centre, south of Hamilton.

The 2010 Rural Bachelor of the Year finalists are:
Lance Isbister, a 27 year old Rural Reporter from Ashburton.
Scott McGregor, a 19 year old Farm Managers Assistant from Tauranga.
Kelvin Meek, a 21 year old Shepherd from Taupo.
Jacques Reinhardt, a 22 year old Stock Manager from Napier.
Drew Riordan, a 38 year old Fencer from Southland.
Shaun Thomas, a 23 year old Farm Manager from Ashburton.
Nicholas Torrens, a 27 year old Sharemilker from Te Aroha.
Simeon Ward, a 23 year old Managing Director from Puketaha.

The finalist will compete over the four days of Fieldays for the esteemed Golden Gumboot trophy and the title of being the 2010 Rural Bachelor of the Year. The array of prizes for the Rural Bachelor champion is valued at $20,000, from the generous support of the following sponsors; Classic Hits, Swanndri, Skellerup, Stihl, Cook Island Tourism, Leisurerite Spas, Cycle Time, Hyundai, SKYCITY Hamilton and Trader Jacks.

The heats the Rural Bachelors will test their rural capabilities and genuine good bloke character. From digging to dancing, all aspects of the rural, single lifestyle will be closely observed from a panel of judges. The lads will also be competing alongside the Rural Good Keen Girl finalists on Friday the 18th of June.

The 2010 Rural Good Keen Girl finalists are:
Kimberley Anderson, an 18 year old Agricultural Worker from Taupo.
Kaye Crawford, a 48 year old Farm Manager from Ashburton.
Emma Fletcher, a 30 year old Ultra Sound Technician from Hamilton.
Nedine Greyling, a 30 year old Laboratory Technician from Gordonton.
Charlotte Meehan, a 30 year old General Manager from Pukekohe.
Rochelle O’Hara, a 25 year old Stock Manager from Carterton.
Erin Reed, a 28 year old Shepherd from Napier.
Jaimee-Mairee Schimanski, an 18 year old Farm Worker/Hatchery Worker from Taranaki.

The Rural Good Keen Girl competition is a one day event at Fieldays, where the girls will face the same challenging heats as the Rural Bachelors. The new competition is bound to be a favourite at the agricultural event, with the ladies showing the lads how rural girls can hold their own on the farm and in the competition.

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Irish vs. The French

The French President is sitting in his office when his telephone rings.

'Hallo, Mr. Sarkozy!' a heavily accented voice said. 'This is Paddy down at the Harp Pub in County Clare , Ireland . I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you! We voted to reject the Lisbon treaty!'

'Well, Paddy,' Sarkozy replied, 'This is indeed important news! How big is your army?'

'Right now,' says Paddy, after a moment's calculation, 'there is myself, me Cousin Sean, me next door neighbour Seamus, and the entire darts team from the pub. That makes eleven!'

Sarkozy paused. 'I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100,000 men in my army waiting to move on my command.'

'Begorra!' says Paddy. 'I'll have to ring you back.'

Sure enough, the next day, Paddy calls again. 'Mr. Sarkozy, the war is still on. We have managed to get us some infantry equipment!'

'And what equipment would that be Paddy?' Sarkozy asks.

'Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy's farm tractor.'

Sarkozy sighs amused. 'I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 6,000 tanks and 5,000 armoured personnel carriers. Also, I have increased my army to 150,000 since we last spoke.'

'Saints preserve us!' says Paddy. 'I'll have to get back to you.'

Sure enough, Paddy rings again the next day. 'Mr. Sarkozy, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We have modified Jackie McLaughlin's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the Shamrock Bar have joined us as well!'

Sarkozy was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. 'I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100 bombers and 200 fighter planes. My military bases are surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I have increased my army to 200,000!'

'Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!' says Paddy, 'I will have to ring you back.'

Sure enough, Paddy calls again the next day. 'Top o' the mornin', Mr. Sarkozy! I am sorry to inform you that we have had to call off the war.'

'Really? I am sorry to hear that,' says Sarkozy. 'Why the sudden change of heart?'

'Well,' says Paddy, 'we had a long chat over a few pints of Guinness and packets of crisps, and we decided there is no f****n' way we can feed 200,000 prisoners.'


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