A Real Man

A real man is a woman's best friend. He will never stand her up and never let her down. He will reassure her when she feels insecure and comfort her after a bad day.

He will inspire her to do things she never thought she could do; to live without fear and forget regret. He will enable her to express her deepest emotions and give in to her most intimate desires. He will make sure she always feels as though she's the most beautiful woman in the room and will enable her to be the most confident, sexy, seductive, and invincible.

No wait... sorry... I'm thinking of wine.
Never mind.

Importance of training

There was a case in a Johannesburg Hospital's ICU, where patients always died in the same bed, every Sunday morning at 11am regardless of their medical condition.

This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that particular bed was the work of the Devil..... as to why the deaths at 11am on Sunday mornings? A world-wide team of experts were constituted and they decided to go to the ward to investigate the cause of the incidents.

So on the next Sunday morning, a few minutes before 11am, all doctors and nurses nervously waited outside the ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about. Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books and other holy objects to ward off any evil spirits. Just then the clock struck 11 and............

......Precious Tshabalala walked in (part-time cleaner) unplugged the life support machine and plugged in the vacuum cleaner.

COWS

Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic the UK government could track a single cow, born in Bourne almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the county of Lincolnshire?

And, they even tracked her calves to their stalls.

But they are unable to locate 125,000 illegal immigrants wandering around the country. Maybe they should give each of them a cow!!

Let's put the seniors in jail and the criminals in a nursing home

Received this via email and couldn't resist posting it:

Let's put the seniors in jail and the criminals in a nursing home:

This way the seniors would have access to showers, hobbies and walks. They'd receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical treatment, wheel chairs etc and they'd receive money instead of paying it out.

They would have constant video monitoring, so they could be helped instantly, if they fell, or needed assistance.

Bedding would be washed twice a week, and all clothing would be ironed and returned to them. A guard would check on them every 20 minutes and bring their meals and snacks to their cell.

They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose.

They would have access to a library, weight room, spiritual counseling, pool and education.

Simple clothing, shoes, slippers, PJ's and legal aid would be free, on request..

Private, secure rooms for all, with an exercise outdoor yard, with gardens.

Each senior could have a PC a TV radio and daily phone calls.

There would be a board of directors to hear complaints, and the guards would have a code of conduct that would be strictly adhered to.

The "criminals" would get cold food, be left all alone and unsupervised.
Lights off at 8pm, and showers once a week.
Live in a tiny room and pay £900.00 per month and have no hope of ever getting out.

Just a Tap

A passenger in a taxi leaned over to ask the driver a question and tapped him on the shoulder. The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb, and stopped just inches from a large plate glass window.

For a few moments everything was silent in the cab, and then the still shaking driver said, "I'm sorry but you scared the daylights out of me."

The frightened passenger apologized to the driver and said he didn't realize a mere tap on the shoulder could frighten him so much.

The driver replied, "No, no, I'm sorry, it's entirely my fault. Today is my first day driving a cab. I've been driving a hearse for the last 25 years."

For the Man of the House this Fathers Day...

Treat the man of the house to something fresh, new and exciting this Father's Day with Lemongrass House - the ideal choice for premium products that won't break the bank!

Offering a luxurious yet affordable range of men's products used in top spa's the world over, Lemongrass House provides something alluring and refreshing for the man of the house this Father's Day.

Lemongrass House specialise in fresh, handmade spa products that contain no parabens, no sulphates and are never tested on animals. From Wild Mint Shower Gel to Revitalising Massage and Body Oil, Lemongrass and Pomelo Body Butter and the super-slick Man's Box – there's something to suit every Dad!

For the Dad who loves a fresh start in the mornings, Lemongrass House Wild Mint Shower Gel (RRP from $9.95) is the perfect gift. A vegetable-based deep cleansing shower gel made using fresh plant infusions of aloe vera & cucumber, pure essential oils and moisture rich glycerin, it will leave your Dad's skin feeling smooth, soft and hydrated. Invigorating ingredients such as green tea extract, garden mint essential oil and grapefruit seed extract combine to provide some extra get up and go before a hard day's work!

And get Dad's blood pumping with Lemongrass House Revitalising Massage and Body Oil (RRP from $9.95) – a luxurious treat for body and mind at the end of a long day. The oil is hand-blended to create the perfect revitalising balance, adding fragrant pure essential oils to nourishing, vitamin-rich sweet almond and jojoba base oils. Suitable for a variety of skin types and uses, Lemongrass House Revitalising Massage and Body Oil can also be used on damp skin after a bath or shower as a rich, indulgent moisturiser.

Lemongrass and Pomelo Body Butter (RRP $23.95) is the heavyweight of body moisturisers. Packed with inviting tropical fragrances, vitamin E and locally grown aloe vera, it will naturally soften, re-hydrate, rejuvenate and nourish your Dad's skin. With fresh, natural ingredients such as virgin coconut oil, lemongrass and pomelo essential oils, shea butter, coconut, cocoa butter, jojoba oil and cucumber extract, Lemongrass and Pomelo Body Butter offers an indulgent and invigorating experience for all Dads.

And for the ultimate boy toy, why not treat your Dad to The Man's Box (RRP $168.85). Choc-full of premium Lemongrass House products including massage and body oil, face cream, bath crystals, lip balm, shower gel, fresh handmade soap, revitalising room spray and more, The Man's Box will not disappoint!

For more information visit www.lemongrasshouse.co.nz

Kiwi Charities to Benefit from Online Shopping

A new online bargain site with a conscience has launched giving customers the chance to help local charities simply by shopping at its 24 hour online store.

DaySale.co.nz was created by Search and Rescue volunteer Hamish Pirie who wanted to help support some of the country’s under-funded charities by capitalizing on Kiwis love of online shopping.

Pirie, who also volunteers with the Summit Rescue Helicopter, says he is well-aware of the pressure for resources facing many of our charitable organisations and hopes DaySale.co.nz efforts will go some way in supporting them.

Each day up to four heavily discounted items are listed for online bargain hunters with a percentage of the proceeds from one of the product lines featured then donated to a local charity registered with the site.

In just four weeks kind New Zealand shoppers have donated $1,213 to Plunket, RNZSPCA, Land Search & Rescue and CanTeen, says Pirie.

“I saw this as a great opportunity to promote some of the not for profit groups within the community and to reward them for the great work that they do,” he says.

“My involvement with Search and Rescue has shown me how rewarding it can be to be part of a team of dedicated people who are committed to helping others and making a difference in their lives,” says Pirie.

Pirie says customers who subscribe to DaySale.co.nz can be assured the money from each charity sale goes to the nominated organisation and there are no handling or promotional fees and in many cases we even add to the donations.

Sales are made on a first in first served basis and savings can be made on a range of products including; cosmetics, sporting goods, toys, clothing, footwear, electronics, homeware and consumables.

Pirie sources the products locally and internationally at reduced prices and says he is able to do so because of his ability to bulk order and receive large discounts.

Charities who are interested in receiving donations from the site can register online with new charities regularly featured.

For more information on DaySale.co.nz’s charitable donations or to find out more about how DaySale.co.nz works, visit www.daysale.co.nz

Kiwi Men Worried About Their Looks: Survey

Kiwi men are worried about their looks with hair loss, dandruff and weight gain their three biggest concerns according to a new trans-Tasman study.

The Head & Shoulders Hair Retain Survey showed that more than a quarter of men (29%) said they were worried about having dandruff and just over a quarter (26%) were concerned about losing their hair.

The results also show that New Zealand males were anxious about their waistlines as well as their hairlines! Just under two thirds of Kiwi men (63%) were concerned about putting on weight, compared to just less than half of their Australian counterparts.

Auckland psychologist Sara Chatwin says having hair is closely aligned with many masculine characteristics so when men lose their hair, their self-esteem often plummets.

“Many men define themselves by the way they wear their hair. This may be due to traditional beliefs that suggest hair is associated with virility, social status, strength and youth,” says Chatwin.

“When their hair diminishes or gets dandruff (that is perceived as dirty) men may feel less virile, weak, older and generally less attractive,” she says.

Chatwin says with this in mind men will often go “the extra distance” to ensure their hair is full, dandruff flake free and healthy looking.

“These days men are taking more time to look after their personal grooming habits and hair maintenance is part of that package,” she says.

This may be the case for Kiwi men but when it comes to appearances it seems Australian men aren’t nearly as alarmed about certain aspects of their appearance! Only 13% of Australian men worried about dandruff and just 18% said they were apprehensive about hair loss.

Kiwi respondents said that when it came to wrinkles they were not overly concerned, with only 17% saying it was an issue for them; excess hair was even less of a worry with 13% of Kiwi men saying being overly hairy upset them.

Interestingly Kiwi women were also more concerned about men’s hair than any other appearance issues. Eight out of 10 Kiwi women said dandruff on a man’s shoulders was more of a turn-off than thinning hair! Six out of 10 women surveyed also said that unkempt hair on men was a sign of laziness.

Nearly half (47%) of Kiwi women thought men with a full head of hair are generally more attractive compared to 44% of Australian women.

When it came to males Kiwi women were generally less concerned withbaldness just 15% said bald patches were the first thing they noticed about a man, compared to 22% of Australian women.

Similarly hair was not considered a strong predictor of success with just 12% and 13% of Kiwi and Australian women respectively saying men with a full head of hair tend to be more successful.

The survey was commissioned by Head & Shoulders to launch its new Hair Retain for Men shampoo. The specially formulated product works to reduce dandruff flakes from the first wash but also smoothes the scalp, slows down hair fall due to breakage and provides hair care and protection.

New Bond System Makes Renting Cheaper

An innovative new bond system is set to shake up the New Zealand tenancy market, making renting a home more affordable and accessible.

From July 1 2010, SmartBond will be available to both landlords and tenants as an alternative to the traditional Department of Building and Housing administered (DBH) bond system.

Already an international success story, SmartBond avoids troublesome payment scenarios between landlords and tenants by offering landlords a full five weeks cover for unpaid rent or wilful damage, in return for a small weekly premium. Premiums are calculated as a percentage of a tenancy’s weekly rent at 2 per cent.

An additional option of rent protection insurance (premium 0.5 per cent) also gives landlords the security of knowing that their tenant’s rent will be paid (up to a maximum of 12 weeks), should the tenant become redundant, bankrupt or disabled.

The Director of NZ Guarantee Barry Gordon says SmartBond is a more flexible, financially savvy option for landlords and tenants, which provides increased cover for landlords if a tenancy ends badly.

“The entire SmartBond system has been set up to make the process as straightforward as possible,” says Gordon. “We’re confident that, similar to what we’ve seen internationally, SmartBond will become the bond system of choice for New Zealand landlords and tenants.”

Once parties have agreed to use SmartBond, they sign up online or through a SmartBond Approved Agent. Once approval is granted, the tenancy can begin immediately and as long as premiums are paid, cover is guaranteed until the tenancy ends.

Landlords may also choose to reward current tenants and opt to include SmartBond in the existing rent, allowing any remaining Bond to be released back to the tenant.

Based on a similar successful system employed in Switzerland, Belgium and the UK, SmartBond also offers tenants the additional benefit of applying for preapproval as a SmartBond tenant. The tenant is issued with a SmartBond Approval Certificate which they can use to streamline future dealings with potential landlords.

Landlords and property agents may choose to advertise their rentals as SmartBond properties, attracting tenants who are savvy about managing their money, without the deterrent of having to raise four weeks bond upfront.

SmartBond has a six month minimum term and can be terminated by either party at any time after this term. SmartBond has been developed in accordance with the restrictions of the Residential Tenancies Act 1986 – both landlords and tenants receive the protections afforded by the Act under the SmartBond system.

SmartBond is the offering of NZ Guarantee Ltd, underwritten by Southsure Assurance Limited, a SBS Bank Group Company. Southsure Assurance is New Zealand-owned and operated and has a proven track history of providing insurance services to local communities,

For more information visit www.smartbond.co.nz

Tainui and Hoyts to Launch State-of-the-Art Cinema Complex

Tainui will join with Hoyts Cinemas to build a multi-million dollar cinema complex in the Waikato creating 80 new jobs and giving a boost to the local economy.

Due to open in 2011, the new Hamilton cinema, will offer more than 1300 seats, six digital movie screens all with digital 3D capabilities, an Xtremescreen, food emporium and concept cinema and bar.

Hoyts General Manager Brian Eldridge says the new complex at The Base shopping centre will be the first purpose built, fully digitalized movie venue in New Zealand and the company is pleased to be launching the new ‘premium cinema concept’ experience in the Waikato. The Te Rapa venue will also include an auditorium for large screen shows, conferences, private functions and sporting entertainment with a fully licensed bar close by, says Eldridge.

“We’re excited to be creating such a unique and innovative offering to the Waikato and look forward to working with Tainui Group Holdings (TGH), owners of The Base, to give the local region a cinema complex which would rival anything found internationally.” Eldridge says the new cinema is the first of Hoyts’ concept cinemas and there are plans to develop more nationwide.

Tainui Group Holdings Chief Executive Mike Pohio says creating a new benchmark for cinema entertainment is consistent with TGH’s goal of creating a market leading region facility that will continue to attract people and operators in Hamilton.

Entertainment seekers wanting a step up in movie experiences will be able to do so with the provision of 143 La Premiere seats and a gourmet selection of wines, antipasto, pizzas and ice-cream from the food emporium.

Do you believe the weatherman's temperature readings?

During a recent bitterly cold snap in Auckland, I was astounded to head to the Metservice website to be told the current temp in Auckland was sitting at 13 degrees C ... it felt distinctly more like 5 or 6!

Peeved, I shot off an email to them asking for an explanation of their readings, and got this response in reply:

Hi Gayle and thanks for your enquiry.

The temperature for Auckland on the main webpage is taken at the airport. If you head into the “3 hourly temperatures” tab around the middle of the main webpage, you get a list of the locations around New Zealand with the latest 3 hourly measurements. We also have stations taking measurements at Whangaparoa and Whenuapai for Auckland as well.

Air temperatures are measured at a height of approximately 1.3m above a flat surface which is covered with short grass. The thermometers are housed in a white painted wooden louvered shelter known as a Stevenson Screen. The use of a standard screen allows temperatures to be compared accurately with those measured in earlier years and at different places. The screen is designed to allow the temperature probe to reach equilibrium with the air temperature inside – shielding against rain and warming/cooling by radiation (that is out of direct sunlight) and allows free air flow. This is to give a more accurate reading of the “ambient” or “drybulb” temperature of the atmosphere at that particular location – the temperature measured by a thermometer exposed to the airstream but shielded from radiation and moisture. Indeed, it can be warmer or colder than what you feel depending on the sun’s rays or wind chill but it is the accepted form of temperature measurement by National Weather Services across the globe. It should also be noted than WMO guidelines force consideration that the weather station be placed away from artificial heat sources such as parking lots and buildings. A parking lot, for example poses a threat to temperature interference, not just because of the heat generated from the cars, but also from the black bitumen which is used to cover car parking lots attracting sunlight, thereby increasing the ambient temperature.

You are indeed correct though, it can sometimes feels an awful lot colder/hotter than the temperature recorded depending on factors such a wind chill and direct sunlight. A detailed description of the factors which influence how temperature “feels” is available in the blog area of our website - Bob McDavitt’s “Feels like” post dating from the 13th of January 2010.

I trust that this answers your query.

Well, it answered my query, but I am still rather dubious - the day in question, there was very little wind. Right, am off to read Bob's blog post to see if that helps!

www.metservice.co.nz