Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead.
Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow.
Do not walk beside me either, just fuck off and leave me alone.
---------------------
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tyre
---------------------
The darkest hours come before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbour's milk and newspaper, that's the time to do it
---------------------
Sex is like air. It only becomes really important when you aren't getting any.
---------------------
Don't inspire to be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted
---------------------
Remember, no one is listening until you fart
---------------------
Never forget that you are unique - like everyone else
---------------------
Never test the depth of water with both feet
---------------------
If you think nobody cares if you're dead or alive, try missing a couple of mortage payments
---------------------
Before you judge someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you judge them, you're a mile away and have their shoes
---------------------
If at first you don't succeed - avoid skydiving!
---------------------
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day
---------------------
Have you ever lent someone a 20 and never seen that person again? It was probably worth it
---------------------
If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything
---------------------
Some days we are the flies - some days we are the windscreen
---------------------
Don't worry .. it only seems kinky the first time!
---------------------
Good judgement comes from experience. Experiences come from bad judgements
---------------------
The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket
---------------------
A closed mouth gathers no feet
---------------------
There are two theories about how to win an argument with a woman. Neither one works
---------------------
Generally speaking, you aren't learning much if your lips are moving
---------------------
Never miss a good chance to shut up
---------------------
Experience is something you don't get until after you need it
---------------------
When we are born we are wet, naked, hungry and we get smacked on our arse. From there on in, life gets worse.
---------------------
The most wasted day of all is one in which we have not laughed
---------------------
REMEMBER NOT TO FORGET THAT WHICH YOU DO NOT NEED TO KNOW
No comments:
Post a Comment